How to recognise and treat parental burnout

It doesn’t take an expert to point out that parenting can be exhausting.

Lack of sleep, the responsibility of keeping at least one small human alive and happy, and the inability to take a break exactly when we need one, all combine to make us wearier than we ever remember being in the days before our bundles of joy came into our lives.

But what if our general tiredness evolves into something more serious - an overwhelming sense of fatigue and feeling of detachment from life?

What are the small things you can do to feel better - and at what point should you seek professional help? Bitesize Parenting asked mental health expert Gill Meens to help with our questions.

What is parental burnout?

Like other forms of burnout - caused by work or life’s other pressures - parental burnout is a build up of stress that leaves you feeling physically and emotionally exhausted. It goes beyond tiredness and isn’t immediately cured by a good night’s sleep.

It can be caused by a change in situation or routine that places you under extra pressure - but it can equally be the result of an accumulation of “micro-stressors”, many tiny daily challenges that ultimately become too much to deal with. Life as a parent is filled with these micro-stressors, from having to ask your child to put their school shoes on around 12 times a day, to coping with teenage tantrums. On a good day you might breeze through these challenges, but when they start to build up you could find yourself struggling to remain calm.

Gill Meens, Participation and Lived Experience Manager at the Mental Health Foundation, says parental burnout can be hard to define because it can overlap with other issues such as work-related burnout, worrying about finances, postnatal depression and other mental health conditions.

She says: “If it is parental burnout, it can be alleviated by changing circumstances and getting support. If those feelings last longer, then it might be that there are other things going on underneath.”

Why can parenting be so tough to handle?

Each family’s circumstances are individual to them, but one thing we all tend to have in common is the pressure to be perfect. We look around at other parents on the school drop-off or on social media, and they seem to be experiencing an idealistic family life. But “idealistic” is exactly what it is - we don’t know what private challenges they're dealing with.

Gill says: “We can all stand at the school gates and find another parent that we think is doing a better job than us. Whether that's true or not, it can start to build up this sense of guilt and shame and stigma, and when that's so connected to how we feel we’re doing as a human being, then it can start to erode our sense of confidence and sense of self.”

Many modern-day families lack the support network experienced by early generations of parents, adds Gill: “We don't raise children in villages any more. We tend to have moved away from our grandparents and to exist in our small family unit bubble, which can have wonderful things about it, but it can be really tricky as well. If parents are struggling it can feel quite isolating.”

What does it feel like?

Burnout can lead to a sense of numbness or being disengaged, where you're going through the motions of parenting but don’t feel fully present. As well as exhaustion, it can also lead to other physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, stomach upsets and heart palpitations.

Gill says: “It often comes with parents continuing to feel tired even after they've slept well, which is tricky enough with children. They may be feeling irritable or disconnected from their child. They might have a lack of interest in things, feel numb or possibly have difficulty concentrating and with decision-making.

“And because our bodies and minds are connected, it can come with physical symptoms as well.”

How can we spot it in ourselves?

Gill recommends the Tupperware Test: “If all your Tupperware fell out the cupboard, your reaction tells you where you’re at. So would you have a meltdown or would you calmly pick them up and sort them out?” If a minor mishap like this would leave you in tears then you're very likely already overwhelmed.

Other signs to look for include “brain fog” - difficulty concentrating or making simple decisions, finding yourself snapping at your children or partner more than usual or a lack of interest in things you used to enjoy.

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Gill says: “There is only so much our nervous systems can manage. We know the brain doesn’t really understand one threat versus another, so, if we're feeling that sense of constant stress, our bodies don't distinguish it from something that might be coming to eat us. We’re constantly in that fight-flight-freeze mode and we’re not meant to be like that all the time.”

What can we do about it?

Don’t struggle on by yourself. Gill recommends visiting your GP to unpick whether your symptoms are being caused by burnout or something else that will need a different type of help. There are also charities and helplines that can give you advice, including Samaritans whose trained volunteers are available to listen.

Gill also recommends asking for help from other parents - for example taking it in turn to collect the kids from school so that you each get a break - or asking a family member to take them to the park for an hour.

Challenging the social media version of parenting will also help: Does your child really need to go to so many clubs? Should you be comparing yourself to an idealistic idea of family life?

Go back to basics - stop looking at your phone well before bedtime, try to spend time in nature - even if it’s just a walk around the block.

And mitigate the effects of micro-stressors by implementing micro-breaks - small circuit breakers like a few minutes of deep breathing, a short walk or letting the kids watch some TV, that allow you to regulate your emotions.

This article was published in January 2026

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