'I'm a psychologist: Ditch extreme diets and do this instead'

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Whether it's the New Year, post (or pre) holiday, some of the most common wellbeing overhauls we attempt are to update our diet, lose weight and exercise more, external.

But no matter how motivated we feel in the first few days, it rarely lasts. We lose that drive, give up on our unsustainable regime and end up feeling even worse.

I'm suggesting we do things a little differently. Instead of harsh diets, try more sustainable, meaningful shifts that will support your health, mood and quality of life in the long term. Here are six that I can fully get behind.

Notice the way you speak to yourself when you're getting dressed or looking in the mirror. Is it kind? Or are you thinking things like ''I hate the way I look. I'm a failure. Why can't I get it together?'

Ask yourself if you would talk to a friend in the same way. If not, why would you talk to yourself that way?

Bullying yourself makes change unpleasant and unsustainable. We often slip into a Puritan mindset – trying to offset periods of indulgence with brutal detoxes, severe diets or harsh workouts.

Yes, an extreme plan may produce quick results, but it'll be too hard to keep up. Punishing yourself won't help you move forward. Start with respect for your body and compassion for yourself.

We often expect a short, sharp shock to fix habits that developed over long periods of time. So we slash calories, sign up for an intense challenge and demand quick results.

But the way we arrived here was incremental – think excess weight from eating just an extra 100 calories a day for a few years. So, the best solution is incremental too.

Small adjustments add up. They require less willpower, don't drain your joy, and are more likely to become automatic. Consistency beats intensity. Give yourself time – your body isn't a project with a deadline.

If you're unhappy with your weight and diet, think about whether your expectations match reality. Are you being reasonable with yourself? Has your social feed been flooded with body trends that don't reflect health or diversity?

Perhaps the most valuable step isn't another rule but a mindset shift – less self criticism, more curiosity. Ask, why am I so unhappy with myself? Sometimes we need that psychological shift.

Motivation sustains change; enjoyment fuels motivation. If an adjustment makes your life harder and duller, you won't keep to it.

Make dietary changes you actually like – try new foods or simple recipes. Cook with a friend. Swap an intimidating gym plan for an activity you genuinely enjoy.

You may have an ambition, but the road to your goal might be long. Don't make the middle miserable. If the process is satisfying, you'll keep doing it and that will help you reach your goals.

We're quick to label foods 'good' or 'bad'. Instead, think about what foods could support your brain – the organ that underpins your memory and mental health. Foods that protect your brain tend to support your heart and overall wellbeing too. When you focus on nourishment, the mindset shifts from 'what must I cut?' To 'what can I add?'

Make adding nourishing ingredients your default. This isn't about perfection or punishment. Cover your baselines, feed your brain and body – and yes, you can still have dessert. Pleasure belongs in a healthy life.

My diet looks pretty good today – mostly unprocessed, cooked from scratch – but it didn't happen in a 12 week blitz. It was tiny upgrades over years, like white bread to brown, processed porridge to oats, then adding grains. Each tweak was small enough to keep.

Pick one or two manageable changes and let them stick before adding more. These micro habits don't feel heroic, but they're the ones that last.

Avoid flipping your entire diet overnight. Deprivation breeds resentment. Resentment breeds rebellion. Instead of 'I can't have,' try 'I'm adding'.

If you want this year to feel different, change the approach. Be compassionate, patient and realistic. Choose enjoyment over punishment. Think nourishment over restriction. Build small changes that fit your actual life.

You don't need a restrictive diet plan to make progress. You need a process you can live with – one that respects your body, protects your mind and leaves room for joy. Let this be the year you treat yourself kindly and trust that small changes will get you big results.

Subscribe to the Complex podcast on BBC Sounds where Kimberley Wilson makes sense of all the information - and misinformation - that's out there about our mental health.

Originally published December 2025. Updated March 2026.

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