So what u're sayin is my bag has been found...........in San Antonio......thats mexico!!!!
kate, Swindon

Radio 1 DJ phones the doctor after discovering a giant Number 1 instead of his privates!
PS

Jk desperately needed a No.2 as well.
Prev

hey joel just wondering if you can pass the sun cream as my hands gonna make a mark here any minute now!It's gonna get burnt and shrivel!
Sonal

"Really mum, you're here to suprise me, and you can see me from where you are now!....Stripper?! Mum I am a DJ honest! I've been droppin phat ones all afternoon!"
Niki

Hello Doctor? Yeah, I met this girl in the west end last night and now I've got this weird rash!
Ali, Glasgow

Joel this isn't funny !!!! ... Open the door and let me in. I'm dying for a pee, and I can see a police car heading this way.
Allie (Cardiff)

No, Mum the boys are making me feel right at home already
Michelle

I know the BBC dont give us that big a budget but i thought they would've got us some clothes
Terry Greene

Hello, yes, i would like to go into modelling... yes, my 'physique' is suitable...
Susanna, Guildford

I've got a Radio 1 sticker attached to me and when I tried to pull it off my hand got stuck down there, and I've been locked outside with nothing on, so THAT is why I am angry
Nick

Joel, did i leave that thing with you
Ben Carter

"Hey, you know that spare set of keys you had..."
Liz Biz

"Hello Doc ive got this tattoo i need removing"
iain

JK was unimpressed with the 'fix him to the wall with a large screw' joke!
Greg, Southend

Yes hi...please could i get another number one thingy for my shadow cos people can actually see there's not much there...ta!
Debbie London

No sweetheart, it's all quite dull in Ibiza, all work and no play....haven't even had time for a drink yet! Wot now? I'm just getting ready for the first show....yeah I'm wearing those new shorts you bought me! ;op
Vince, Hull

"Vernon, when I asked you to fix me up with a Bigger One, I was talking about my hotel room...!"
Joe

Hello, yes Ive just woken up - Im naked and locked outside my room with a very big...tattoo! Can you help?
George, Essex

"Joel...Theres a strange man in the window copying everything i do! Im scared! and for some reason he's NAKED!!!!"
Jo Jo

no sorry i cant find it babes.
paul fitzsimons

I don't need Joel - I told them I can hold my own...
Cheese Jordan

"Yes, apparently all Radio 1 DJ's have their bits replaced with a round logo - it was in my contract"
Chris

JK checks his privates only to find they have changed into a pong bat
Daniel, Northants

I never had to do anything like this at Key 103!!
Jo

"Joel its a good job im ambidextrous"
skatch, huddersfield

This novelty radio 1 condom is not funny
Adam

mum i got confused i put after sun on by mistake. what do i do!!!
kel

"What i wasnt meant to strip off?"
Hayley

yeah, JUST like that guy in american pie the wedding!
laura

'joel, i cant do it i put the wrong strap-on its the radio 1 logo...ask wes if i can borrow his!!!'
Dom

What the hell happend last night? I seem to have changed my name 2 nadia, and wait!?? where are my privates?
Biggie

ooo la la
aled

yes doctor it jus still isnt getting any bigger, areu sure they were the right pills?
luke mair

'Joel, I've only gone and got a piercing too!'
rebecca

'Well it was here last time i checked'
N

The BA luggage handlers really out did themselves this time!
Liz

JK rings Joel to ask where he lost it...
Sarah Massey

Look at the size of that Egg!!!
Alex, London