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Art of Life (continued) Her father wrote frequently from Zambia, and, she says, it was he who inadvertently put the idea of creative work in her head. He probably wished to guide his daughter towards the more feminine idea of textiles, but Sehnaz, now taking A-levels, walked into East Midlands Arts and got a part-time job, "It was here I started painting murals, and that’s where I got my taste for climbing scaffolding and doing huge pieces of work. That kind of thing challenged me."
Sehnaz didn't tell her family that she was going to study art, partly because they didn't seem very interested, but partly too, because there could be opposition to her plans. Living at her brother's house, she kept her life drawings under her bed, where, one day, they were discovered and destroyed, "To them the life drawings are nudes, to me they're just learning to draw!" explains Sehnaz, "It was my first enounter as to the troubles which lay ahead. My family made it fairly clear to me that if I was going to carry on there was no way they could accommodate me. Where I’m coming from, it’s not that it’s just strict - it was always your own responsibility, which is good because you have a conscience, but at the same time, it’s too much, to the point where you think, 'Loosen up!'"
After studying art in Leicester, Sehnaz moved to Goldsmith's College in London. There she found freedom, to be, say, and do what she wanted. Her health, whilst not good, was stable. But again, the old problem of finding somewhere to live still dogged her. She lived for a while in the college hostels, then moved on, "My whole experience has been of one kind of institution or another," she says. In her second year, the pain in her legs became worse, but she felt that to let on would mean that she would that she would be labelled, and be taken less seriously, "I have experienced every form of prejudice and yet that has allowed me to say, 'So what? Up yours!' It has given me the sense of I can do whatever I want to do, and why cannot I be what I am?"
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Sehnaz must now make a decision about dialysis. If she doesn't begin treatment shortly, she has been told she will slip into a coma, and die within a matter of months. She sees her refusal of dialysis as a positive decision, "Risk is not a deciding factor in this decision. I have a choice in the matter and the choice is that I want the quality - some quality - for however long I’ve got to be able to live to the full. I can’t see myself attached to a machine, nine hours a day. For me life is about living, and because I have kind of experienced at being such a low, and having gone through that, I know myself, and I know that that would be like for me a living death. And there’s no part of me in the sense of who I am and what I do as a creative person to be part of that."
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At the moment, what Sehnaz most wants is to see her art exhibited, "In the art business, as in any, it is who you know. That’s the one thing that hasn’t been in my favour. I’d love my work to be seen for what it is." Her work, fine and bold at the same time, should be imagined as six foot canvases, "If I could I’d like to go even bigger..." Back If you'd like to respond to Sehanz's story, tell us your thoughts in the Home Truths message boards  | |
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