Stiil, at least we won

It was - a bit like watching an old FA Cup tie from the 70s.

Anyway, first up today is Mike from Chesterfield.

He says: What do you think of the Howard Wilkinson appointment at Sunderland? Do you think Peter Reid will find another job? Maybe Sunderland should have stuck with him in the first place.

Well I don't think Reidy'll have any problem finding another job - there's a Planet of the Apes sequel coming up, so he'll be straight in there.

Straight in, and no need for make-up - which will save them a lot of time.

He might even get to snog Helena Bonham whatsit, so that would be all right.

Then again, he might get some sort of social thing, taking out footballers for the night and showing them a good time.

Too nice though, isn't he, Reidy? bless him.

Yes, he copped a bit of flak during the England TV coverage the other day, but he took it quite well.

Well he does take it well, because he knows he deserves it at the end of the day.

But I can't believe they went for Wilkinson. The chairman rang him up and asked who he thought the right man for the job was. Wilko said "Me", so Bob Murray said "All right then".

What sort of a chairmanship is that?! He could have rang me up and I might have said the same thing.

You know, we could have had Christopher Charles, new Sunderland boss - just because you were the first bloke he rang up.

Captain charisma is back

I'd have taken it like a shot. But I would imagine Wilko's appointment is good news for Boro and Sunderland fans.

Oh it's fantastic. They're not going to get anywhere are they? I think they might have stayed up with Reidy, but only just. Now though...

I tell you what, I can't wait for Wilkinson's press conferences. What a tedious fellow.

I don't know what they think they're doing - I suspect he's the only fella who said he'd do it even when he was told he had nowt to spend.

If it was Boro, I'd found out where he lived and camp outside his house saying "Please go home".

Still, good luck to him!

Now then, Steve in London says: Robbo, what's your view on Alex Higgins' planned return to snooker?

Well my memories of Alex Higgins are firmly seared onto my brain - a man who went round the edges of a snooker table like a cat.

And with those dilated pupils of his, he looked like a cat about to pounce on a mouse - marvellous looking fella.

But the sad thing is I can't imagine he'll look anything like that when he comes back.

Even if he hadn't had that illness, and thank God he got over it, he would have still been a complete wreck, I don't think there's any doubt about that.

The good old days

There's only so much vodka and fags your body can take.

Exactly, although I'd like to think I could challenge Alex's record on that score. But I reckon he'd be better off playing little clubs and exhibition matches meself.

Whatever happens, I hope he doesn't come back with that fedora.

If he relaunches himself properly he'll come back as Alex 'Inhaler' Higgins. He could have a couple of puffs every time he went back to his chair, rather than the fags.

John Higgins was getting a bit cross about his namesake, because he said people were making more fuss about a washed-up star than the modern players.

I know and I don't blame him. I mean I know these modern players are as dull as ditchwater, apart from O'Sullivan, but their talent is far superior and Alex wouldn't even, dare I say it, get a sniff.

Next up is Scott, an Australian living in London. He says, quite simply: The Waughs are going to come back to haunt you!

That's after you dismissed them as a spent force last week, Robbo.

I think there's something up with Australia at the moment. You've got players like Lehman and Bevan and Elliott who must be chewing up wardrobes and chest of drawers trying to get in the team.

By comparison the Waughs are pathetic - although obviously they'd still walk into the England team.

David Boon (right) - fat and proud

There was a report last week saying Australians are the most obese nation on the Earth - they're fatter even than the Yanks.

Soft in the mind, soft in the body, that's what's happening to Australia at the moment.

Mind you Australia used to have loads of big players, Boonie, Border...

Not to mention Taylor. But to answer the question, no I don't think the Waughs will come back to haunt us - not once we've let our young quickies loose on them.

Finally, Mark Garry from England says: Robbo, fellow Boro fan here.

I'm just wondering if you're concerned Steve McClaren could become a victim of his own success and be head-hunted either by Man United or England, once Sven departs?

Well there'sa lot of that muttering going on - and it really annoys me that Boro fans are already suggesting we're not good enough to hold on to our top manager.

Now a) I think we are good enough and b) it won't be because Boro have had a crap season that he'll get nicked off us.

It'll be because we've done well, so stop being so bloody miserable Boro fans. It will be because we've WON SUMMAT.

And if Steve McLaren can win summat for us, then by God he can go wherever he chooses, apart from Man U.

We haven't won anything up here for years and years.

Give him the freedom of Boro

We did get in the final of some Mickey Mouse tournament years ago - the Backscrubbers' Monthly Magazine Zenith Auto Windscreen Cup - summat like that.

It was one of those tournaments that gave any team who'd never been to Wembley before the chance to play in a final. If you turned up, you went through.

But this season we're gonna win something proper. And if McLaren goes off and becomes England manager, then good luck to him!

Well if he does win something, you can gurantee he'll be given the freedom of Middlesbrough, but I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not!

Ai it's a grand thing to have the freedom of Middlesbrough - it's beautiful city.

Sometimes people think they're hallucinating when they see the different colours in the air, but that's all to do with ICI 'n that, not the drug culture.

Well, on that beautiful note...actually, before I go, I did promise I was going to tell you where the phrase Gordon Bennett came from, so here goes.

It originates from a fellow called James Gordon Bennett II (1841-1918), who was apparently quite a colourful bloke.

One of his exploits involved flying a plane through a barn, to which people remarked "That was Gordon Bennett!" So there you are.

Well that's a bit disappointing really. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity - I'm going to start saying 'James Bennett' instead from now on - to reinstate his proper place in the world.

Good on you, Robbo! OK, speak to you next week.

Ta-ta, son.