By Chris Charles BBC Sport Online

So work on the new Wembley is finally under way - and things are already running true to form.

The bulldozers went in on Monday morning, but after demolishing a tiny section of the old stadium, the workmen have now downed tools until Thursday.

There's a surprise.

And what's the betting this is just the start of the problems.

Anyone who's had building work done on their house will sympathise with FA bigwigs, who insist constructors are working to a tight schedule.

You'll be lucky, fellas.

By the time the project is finally finished, you'll have seen the use of more delaying tactics than a George Graham team one goal to the good.

There's always time for a tea break

Picture the scene down Wembley Way as half a dozen builders look up at the old stadium, hands on hips, shaking their heads and sucking their teeth.

"Gordon Bennett, look at the state of them towers!"

"Blimey, must 'ave been a right cowboy that done that..."

"It's gonna be a bit tougher than we thought to get rid of that lot. Might have to revise the original quote."

Impossible

Of course, while deciding on the best plan of action, it is customary to have a tea-break or 10.

This involves sitting around looking at the stadium while drinking tea, shaking heads and passing around rolled-up copies of The Sun and Star.

Around three O'Clock, someone will decide that it's impossible to go any further without going back for more tools and, given the traffic, it's hardly worth coming back until the next morning.

And just because it's Wembley Stadium, do not expect any preferential treatment.

You can guarantee that however big the contract is, the building firm will always have at least two more on the go.

In fact the last conversation the FA has with them this year will almost certainly occur in the second week of December, when they announce they're "just going to check on another job".

You won't see them again until 10 January.

"'Ello darling!"

Finally, don't expect the famous towers to be taken down until the very last minute.

It's got nothing to do with sentiment - more that they are the perfect height for ogling women and dropping food down fellow builders' bums.

As for hosting the FA Cup final in 2004, forget it.

You've got more chance of Bob the Builder becoming the next England manager.

On second thoughts, make that Terry Venables.