Parenting is one of life’s biggest emotional adventures. Whether you are welcoming your first baby, navigating toddlerhood or watching your child take steps towards independence, it is completely normal to feel anxious at times.
Sometimes, however, this anxiety might feel like too much.
From sleepless nights to everyday worries, psychologist Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo shares five tips to help you feel calmer, more confident and supported in your parenting journey.
Dr Tara spoke to Katie Thistleton and Guvna B on CBeebies Parenting Download - the podcast that looks at the topics gripping your parent group chats.
Dr Tara's tips
1. Take a moment to breathe
Anxiety often pulls our thoughts into the future, imagining what might go wrong.
Dr Tara explains, “When you notice your thoughts speeding up, pause and gently bring your attention back to your breath.
“Just a few slow, steady breaths can help calm your nervous system and bring you back into the moment.”
Slowing your breathing, even briefly, can help your body move out of panic mode and give you the space to respond more calmly to whatever is happening around you.
2. Separate 'helpful worrying' from overthinking
Sometimes worrying is useful - it helps us plan and keep our children safe. But anxiety can also tip into overthinking that leaves us feeling drained.
“A helpful question to ask yourself is, ‘Is this something I can do something about right now?’” says Dr Tara.
“If the answer is no, it may be an anxious thought rather than a problem that needs solving.”
Focusing on what you can control in the moment, and letting go of what could possibly happen, can help quieten a busy mind.
3. Look after yourself, even in tiny ways
When parents are exhausted or stretched thin, anxiety often feels louder.
Dr Tara explains, “Our minds are much more sensitive to stress when we are tired, hungry or overwhelmed.
“Looking after your basic needs is not a luxury, it is an important part of supporting your emotional wellbeing.
“Even small moments of care, such as enjoying a hot drink, stepping outside for fresh air or having a few quiet minutes, can help you feel more grounded and resilient.”
4. Notice the little wins
When you are feeling anxious, it is easy to focus on what feels hard or unfinished.
Dr Tara encourages parents to look for the small positives, “So much of parenting is made up of tiny moments. Getting through bedtime, managing a tricky morning or taking a trip out of the house all count.
“Noticing these small wins helps remind us that we are doing well, even on difficult days.”
Some parents like to celebrate 'inchstones' as well as milestones, to recognise what is going well.
This can gently balance anxious thinking and build confidence over time.
5. Share the load
Parenting can feel isolating, especially when worries stay stuck in your head.
“Talking about your worries with someone you trust can be incredibly reassuring. It reminds you that you are not alone and that many parents feel the same way,” explains Dr Tara.
Seeking professional support is another positive step to take if anxiety feels constant or overwhelming, says Dr Tara.
“Asking for help is not a sign of failure, it is a sign that you are taking care of yourself and your family.”
And a reminder for parents…
Feeling anxious as a parent does not mean you are doing a bad job.
Being kind to yourself, reaching out when you need support and taking things one step at a time can help you feel steadier and more confident as you go.
The Traitors' Leanne Quigley talks about parenting anxiety on the CBeebies Parenting Download podcast
