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Introduction

Do you know how to disagree politely at work? In this episode of Office English, Pippa and Phil talk about being diplomatic and compromising.

TRANSCRIPT

Note: This is a transcript of a spoken conversation and is not a word-for-word script.

Phil
What do you do when there's a disagreement at work?

Georgie
I don't mind it too much when people disagree. I think it can be really healthy, and especially if everyone feels able to disagree in a kind of calm way. When people get angry, that's when it gets a bit a bit stressful.

Becca
I don't enjoy confrontation anyway. Having said that, I do think it's important to listen to different perspectives.

Pippa
Today on Office English, we'll talk about agreeing, disagreeing, and compromising.

Phil
Hello and welcome to Office English from BBC Learning English. I'm Phil.

Pippa
And I'm Pippa. This is your podcast guide to the world of work. And you can find subtitles and a transcript to read along with this podcast on our website bbclearningenglish.com.

Phil
So, Pippa, we've just heard some of our Learning English colleagues talking about keeping people happy at work. We often call this being diplomatic.

Pippa
Yes, being diplomatic means acting in a way that doesn't upset or offend someone.

Phil
Yes, it can be difficult to keep everyone happy all the time at work, but there are some steps that you can take to make sure you're not being rude and to help disagreements be resolved more easily.

Pippa
And it's important to note that it will depend on your company culture and the country that you work in, how diplomatic people are. There are some workplaces where people will just say what they think. They won't kind of try to, um, not offend people with their opinion. But it's very common in UK workplaces and in lots of international companies that you need to be diplomatic.

So in this episode, we'll talk about understanding disagreements, taking a side and compromising.

Phil
OK, so let's imagine you're at work and there's a disagreement. Two colleagues have different ideas about how to do a task and want your opinion. What should you do, Pippa?

Pippa
Well, you need to understand the disagreement before you wade in, and wade in just means to get involved quite quickly. Um, so you need to ask about, kind of, what the context is of the thing that you're being asked to give an opinion on.

Phil
Yeah. A nice expression to do this could be, 'could you fill me in on what the problem is?' And fill me in means give me the details.

Pippa
Mhm. Yeah. And you can sort of explain why you want to know this. 'I want to be sure I understand both sides' would be a nice expression. It's just showing respect to both perspectives and making sure that you don't make a very quick decision if this is quite a big disagreement.

Phil
Yeah. And then another question that could be important to ask is, is my opinion going to be helpful? Is it something you can actually help with, or is it just going to make things even more complicated if you wade in with your opinion?

Pippa
OK, so now we understand the disagreement, we need to decide which idea is best. How do we do this diplomatically without upsetting anyone, Phil?

Phil
It is good to show that you understand both sides, both perspectives. So maybe start off by saying something like, 'I can see why you want to do it this way. But in this case I agree with...' the other side.

Pippa
Another way you could approach this is if there's maybe a complex problem where actually both options might work, there's not a particular right or wrong, you can say that. You can say, 'I'm not sure there are any right answers, but I'm going to go with this option because...' and then state your reasons. So you're just acknowledging that it's not actually that the other person is wrong.

Phil
Yeah. Sometimes you just need to make a decision. So you might say 'in this instance I'm siding with...' this person. 'But it's not that I don't respect your opinion'. Um, so you're showing that you are thinking about what the other person has said, and you're not just, it's not just you don't like them or something like that.

Pippa
Mhm. Yeah. You don't want it to be personal really. So you want to show that in the way that you're talking to people.

Phil
OK. So we've covered how to disagree politely. But another option is to reach a compromise. And this is where both people change their opinion or demands in order to agree. So how can we talk about compromise at work?

Pippa
Well we have lots of really nice expressions for this in English. So we could ask, 'can you meet me halfway?' And that just means can you compromise with me?

Phil
Yes. You might want to try and find common ground. And common ground are the things that you agree on.

Pippa
Mhm. A similar expression is a happy medium. And this just means to reach a point where everybody is happy. So you have a solution that makes both sides happy, that's in the middle. It's a happy medium.

Phil
Now in order to reach a compromise it's often good to use slightly more indirect language or softer language. So things like possibly or maybe, could you, would you, modal verbs like that, which, they just make it a bit less confrontational.

Pippa
That's it for this episode of Office English. Find more business English programmes on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.

Phil
Now, do you want to improve your speaking confidence at work? Make sure you try our Beating Speaking Anxiety series with videos and podcasts to help you fight your fears of speaking English, and it's all available at bbclearningenglish.com.

Pippa
Until next week, goodbye.

Phil
Bye.