'I nearly broke trying to help my partner with addiction issues'

When Claire Harkin met her husband 11 years ago she didn't know he was hiding a secret that would tear her world apart.

For years Michael Harkin's life was consumed by a cocaine and alcohol addiction and he was spiralling out of control.

Over time, Claire watched him change, and said witnessing the effects of addiction was one of the hardest things she has experienced.

"It's hard because you always saw that glimmer of hope in him that he was still there, but it got to a point... I ended up nearly breaking myself to trying to help Michael."

It's a far cry from the settled family life they now share with their children.

Claire believes the experiences of people like her, who are supporting loved ones with an addiction, can often be overlooked.

"When I had our son, when you become a mammy everything changes... our son didn't need two broken people.

"Eventually, I had to become selfish and shut him out, so that he could get help because only he could be the one to seek help.

"Sometimes you have to realise that they're not doing it on purpose, they're not doing it to spite you," Claire added.

"I felt really down, like, 'What's wrong with me? Why is he doing this to me? Is it our relationship?' And then I realised, that it's something Michael was going through, so you have to learn to understand that.

"I went away and worked on myself, and that's the only reason we could come back together after he went and sought help for himself."

Michael believes that, had he not gotten that help five years ago, he would have died. But admits that in the beginning, he was not truly ready to change and only pretended he was seeking support "to keep others happy".

"We become, as they say in the programme, master manipulators," he said.

"We're able to manipulate people around us and they believe we're going to change this time and that this will be the last time, but you can only really manipulate people so long before they start closing the door."

Michael said he reached a point with drugs where he hit rock bottom and joined the 12-step recovery programme through Heal The Hurt, a Derry-based charity, and never looked back.

"I remember looking in the mirror one time and realising, 'I'm gonna die'.

"I eventually said, 'Enough's enough, I want to change'. That was the start of my recovery, and it was for me, not for anyone else - it had to be for me."

Navigating recovery as a married couple has its challenges, but Claire and Michael said they were stronger than ever and know how to navigate "triggers".

"Even something as simple as a sunny day can be a trigger for him, because in the past he would have loved going to a beer garden and drinking in the sun. But now we plan around things like that and talk openly about them."

Claire recently spoke about her experience of the impact addiction can have on a family, and about that difficult period in their lives at a Voices of Recovery event in Londonderry.

The married couple were among several speakers who have taken part in the events, organised by the Old Library Trust and the Bogside and Brandywell Health Forum (BBHF).

The talks are aimed at people affected by addiction, anyone seeking help or support, or simply those who want to hear real-life experiences.

Mo Mahon, a support worker from the BBHF, said the events were all about changing and challenging misconceptions around addiction.

Another person to share their story of alcohol addiction was George Conway, who said he was once lying in hospital being read his last rites.

"Never in a million years did I think I would be able to give a talk considering where my life was at one point," George said.

"It was nerve-wracking, but if it even helps one other person then it's worth it."

George said addiction left him essentially homeless, living in hostels.

"I ended up in hospital having a seizure, I was there for six weeks in ICU and then I got of hospital, started to get myself sober and met up with Mo and the rest is history," he said.

George, who was told that due to a spinal surgery he may struggle to even walk in the future, is now training to become a personal trainer as part of his recovery.

"They told me I couldn't, but I knew I could."

Mahon said George was involved in the Communities in Transition programme and described his transformation as "a genuine miracle".

"I'm thankful and proud to be a small part of his recovery.

"As he was coming up to four years sober, we knew, after speaking with George, that he was ready to give that talk and share his story.

"Anybody can come to these talks. The stories are always different, but it's all about people coming and taking something away from them.

"People like George become role models through this. He is proof that even when things look bleak, things can always get better if you put the work in."

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this story, organisations which can offer help and support are available on the BBC's Action Line.