'Hospice care helped us bond during cancer treatment'

Ushma Mistryin Stratford-upon-Avon
BBC Deborah and Mel are sitting on a wooden bench in the garden at the Shakespeare Hospice. Mel is wearing a black dress and Deborah is wearing a green and white patterned top with blue jeansBBC
Deborah Poole and Mel Griffiths want to mark being cancer-free by sharing their experiences of the care they received

When Mel Griffiths was 45 she was told she had breast cancer for a second time and thought she was going to die.

Her fears were compounded when it was suggested she attend a hospice for treatment. Mel assumed she was facing death because, to her, hospices had an association with end-of-life care.

"It was that imagery of dying people in beds that you conjure up when you think about hospices and it was hard to get past," she said.

Thankfully her perception was nothing like what she experienced. Now 59, she has joined other people who have been treated for cancer to share their experiences of hospice care.

The NHS worker, from Kenilworth in Warwickshire, was first diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 44. After treatment, Mel attended an appointment where she was expecting to be told the cancer had gone. Instead she was given bad news.

Told she had stage two breast cancer on the opposite side, she was then referred to the Shakespeare Hospice, near Stratford-upon-Avon, for treatment.

Everything was a blur and Mel said she was in an anxious state.

Even though she was told going to the hospice was for respite and support, Mel said she still thought it was the end of the line.

Exterior of the Shakespeare Hospice building which is a one-storey red brick building with green door and window frames. There is a tarmac drive with green grass on either side and the hospice's garden is visible.
The Shakespeare Hospice, in Shottery, supported the two women while they were undergoing treatment for breast cancer

"I just wondered what it was going to be like and what I would be confronted with," she said.

Mel went on to become firm friends with Deborah Poole, 52, who was also receiving treatment for breast cancer at the hospice.

"Under normal circumstances our paths may not have crossed," Deborah said.

"I think you have that bond because you're talking about something so deeply personal.

"You're talking about side effects and symptoms of treatment and maybe things that you probably wouldn't want to discuss with your husband or your kids or your parents.

"This is stuff that we're all going through and we did sit around the art table and say 'oh god, you never guess what happened to me yesterday' and it's just a such comfortable setting to be able to discuss it."

The two friends now feature in a video for the charity's legacy campaign as they wanted to give something back. The pair ask people to consider leaving a donation for hospices in their wills.

"These women's stories beautifully show that hospice care is about living well for as long as possible," Jo Faulkner-Harvey, from the hospice, said.

Now a volunteer at the hospice, Mel is cancer free but said she had never consciously thought it had been beaten, rather that she had moved on.

The NHS worker said she wanted people to know hospices could provide more than treatment for patients.

"Society does have the word hospice buried quite deeply in terms of a meaning. We've talked very much about how it made us feel, but it also helped us maintain our treatment because the support we had helped us comply with what was a tough time and tough side effects.

"So for me personally, it's so important to get the message out on so many different counts, because it's a service that does such good."

Jo said: "We help people manage symptoms, build resilience and find strength during incredibly difficult times.

"Legacy giving provides a significant proportion of voluntary income for hospices across the UK. For the Shakespeare Hospice, these gifts help fund specialised nursing care, wellbeing services, bereavement support and care provided in patients' own homes."

Follow BBC Coventry & Warwickshire on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X and Instagram.

Related internet links

Trending Now