Critics would say that the paths of fine art and dance music rarely cross, but observers of the dancefloor are well aware of the fine art of gurning. Ibiza has become the Tate Modern for this specialized art and here are some of the masterpieces.
Good jaw movement, excellent double chin and a tasty bit of tongue action. But NO extra points for the sweaty pits.
Score: 7/10
A classic gurn that might have scored higher if he had more meat on his head
Score: 4/10
Excellent puff out with the minimum effort. Surely he has super-human gurning powers. Just look at the way his chain floats around his neck. This guy really knows his gurn.
Score: 7/10
Even Ministry Magazine journos don't lose points for trying too hard. This guy is a credit to his publication.
Score: 8/10
Obviously spent a long time perfecting the Frank Spencer gurn, that shirt is a tasty touch too.
Score: 5/10
A lippy entry and the first female of the species to gurn for England. A bit tight on the lips but a patronising extra point for being the first lady in the gallery.
Score: 5/10
There is life after Underworld as first celeb gurn of the weekend from Darren Emerson proves. Nice teeth and a good tight set of nostrils. A great first effort, keep up the good work Darren.
Score: 7/10
Instant disqualification for attempting to gurn and vogue at the same time. This man should be flogged.
Score: 0/10
The celeb stakes are raised as Dave Seaman promises to beat Emerson's gurn even if it takes him all night. Despite missing his set at Renaissance and being dragged away at dawn, Dave still couldn't match the facial twisting of Emerson. Better luck next year Dave.
Score: 3/10
Emerson is put to shame as Dance Anthem's Dan Bailey proves that two rows of teeth are better than one. Just look at the pull on those nostrils and learn something about your art Emerson.
Score: 9/10
Dave Dorrell tries a cool gurn as he headnods to the sound of Gilles Peterson at KM5. A brave attempt when you consider KM5 has the strictest 'No Gurning' laws on the island. Dave gets an extra point for originality but loses it for wearing Bob Hope's golfing hat.
Score: 6/10
This is a cracker. Just look at the cheeks and the lobster tinted skin. Not only does he get an extra point for the hunched stance, but bags another for wearing a Defected Records hat. Now that was PR money well spent. This is gonna take some beating.
Score: 9/10
Norman knows when he's beaten and tries the 'This is about as hard as I'm gonna try' gurn. A sad attempt from a man who would have wiped the floor with all competition before he settled down.
Score: 2/10
With experience on his side he was always gonna be high in the ranking. Look at the effort that has gone in to this masterpiece. This goes beyond gurning. This is MASTERGURNING at its best. Kids watching at home can learn lots from just looking at this.
Score: 10/10
